positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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