yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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