My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
