I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize