I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
