i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
