Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
