as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
