I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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