He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
