my phone needs a breathalizer
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
