Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
