You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
