Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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