Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
