Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
