I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
