please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
