Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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