I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
