Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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