Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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