The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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