mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
