Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
