I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
