Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
