i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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