i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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