Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
