apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
