i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
