At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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