i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
