I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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