Your dad touched me again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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