Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
smell my finger.
This house was built for laser tag.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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