sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
