i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
