Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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