I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
