its not stalking. its research.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
