Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
