she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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