Do you still have your period?
you traded sex for a burrito?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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