You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
