he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
