pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
