So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
