So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
