Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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