My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
