carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
