literally had 100 drinks last night.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
