Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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