Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
